Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
