it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
