There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
