Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
