If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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