I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
