you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
