Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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