sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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