He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize