3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
