It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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