doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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