Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
