Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
