plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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