Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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