I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
