Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
