i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
