Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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