Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize