Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
