I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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