i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
