Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
