gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
