So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
