Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
