Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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