Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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