Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
