Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize