My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
