Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
