Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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