You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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