I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
