I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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