He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
