I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
whose ass print is on the piano?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
