i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my shit smells like andre
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
