i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
