FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
