I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i think im in europe. pls send help
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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