You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
