I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
