It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
ttyl tear gas
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
