Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
