Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
