going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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