he shaved USA in his pubs
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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