I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
