when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
