went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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