We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
