I wish my penis had an off switch
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
