Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

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(516): View more from New York

i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

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(979): View more from Texas

I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist

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(410): View more from Maryland

If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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(607): View more from New York

He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.

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