Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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