Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
